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I realized my family was different when I was 9. I visited a friend’s house for the first time and noticed their house smelled like apple pie, not stale smoke and sweat.
Do I live in a hoarder house? I found myself questioning.
It was clean. Really clean! There were no roaches to jump over and they had fresh fruit sitting on the table! I was in awe. Absolutely speechless.
She sells all her clutter and what happens next will amaze you
That day changed me. It hit me, I don’t have to live this way. I was determined to learn what I could from others.
Watching their habits, learning basic skills as well as the differences in how each family interacted with each other.
Dec 22, 2020 Hoarders experience extreme distress at the idea of getting rid of their possessions. It may be tempting to simply clean up for the hoarder. However, like many psychological disorders, forcing someone to change is often not effective and may even backfire and make the problem worse. Don't remove things from the hoarder's home without consent. Disclaimer: I’m relatively young (24) and don’t have any kids to make me awesome art and stuff, so I may just be naive, and I may have a house full of nostalgia in about 10 years! Reply Josh @ Live Well Simply June 14, 2012 at 7:00 PM. 7 DECLUTTERING TIPS FOR HOARDERS (and those that aren’t quite there yet) 1. CONVINCE YOURSELF FIRST. If you’re having a hard time seeing the reason why you need to start decluttering, many people have benefitted from using this. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “mind over matter” many times in your life for many different things. We begin cleaning out the hoarder house I recently bought. Sep 21, 2016 macOS Sierra is an operating system with thousands of features that would be impossible to cover in a single review. There's an Apple Music update inside iTunes that probably deserves a standalone.
Do I Live in a Hoarder House?
I felt the need to understand the difference between each family’s lifestyle and ultimately why their lives were so different.
I came to one conclusion.
Thought patterns. This determined how they dealt with adversity.
Did they get trapped in the cycle of negativity or did they figure out how to make the best of any given situation? Did they let their thoughts overwhelm them? Or did they change them?
Every single thought is a choice. However, there are times when other factors turn the happiest of people into someone they hardly recognize.
For years I kept everything tidy and organized. I was happy, spontaneous and light-hearted.
My life completely changed when my 3rd child was born.
I suffered from severe postpartum depression. Later I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis as well as Fibromyalgia. Needless to say, I was beyond wiped. Exhausting and depression kicked in hard.
Am I Beginning to be a Hoarder
Life stayed busy. I had little energy to do anything other than the bare necessities for the kids. The thought of cleaning was overwhelming some days. I felt almost paralyzed to clean. The clutter overwhelmed me.
Nothing I had learned while growing up taught me how to manage the disaster our home had become. I told myself many times I would have a yard sale. This never happened. The anxiety was too much.
I continued to cram and stuff things into closets and drawers until everything was full. It got bad. Our spare room became the junk room and that is where the overflow ended up.
Anxiety Consumed my Home and Mind
I told myself there was no time to deal with it. The anxiety stopped me every time I attempted to clear anything out. I was in the beginning stages of becoming a hoarder.
One day I stood sobbing in the shower, trying to figure out how everything got so out of control. I had allowed myself to get sucked into a negative mindset cycle. Anxiety had taken over my life. At that moment it resonated it was time to break the cycle.
First, start, a plan of action, so I researched and created one. Determined to change my mindset. Determined I would not turn into my hoarding family members.
Hoarding Family Members
I posted affirmations everywhere. Every day I struggled. Self-doubt constantly nagging. Simple tasks seemed overwhelming. I cried almost every day in the beginning. However, I refused to quit and kept on pushing myself toward the goals I had created.
The huge feeling of accomplishment after organizing that first space was something I held tightly. It encouraged me, and I was proud of myself. It was proof I could take on this overwhelming task and succeed one space at a time.
15 Minutes a Day
I spent at least 15 minutes a day after the kids went to bed organizing and decluttering one space at a time. The system I used was, keep, donate, and a trash pile. This system helped me to tackle the clutter with a system that worked.
How to Clean a Hoarders House
Each item went through a vetting process.
1. Does this item bring me joy?
2. Does the item have any negative emotions associated with it? If yes, it must go.
3. Do I use the item regularly?
4. Have I used it in the last 6 months?
5. Would this item be hard to replace should I need it in the future?
Regular drop-offs at the thrift stores were a must, as I freed my home of clutter.
Overcoming the Clutter
In the beginning, I kept too much. Getting rid of more became easier as I saw the house transform. I started feeling lighter, happier, and very proud of myself for all that I had accomplished.
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Life happens, mental illness happens. But you can take that first step. Every little step is a step towards tomorrow. Sometimes we take several steps forward, and then a few backs.
The trick is to never stop. Keep moving forward. Create healthy habits to stay on the right path. Do not lose faith in yourself. YOU CAN DO THIS!
About The Author
My name is Cherise O’Connor. We all share a common bond. The need to be loved and accepted. Seeing people come together for the greater good above all else is what makes my heart sing.
In my spare time, enjoy order and organization with a fun little twist. A wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, and teacher. Impatient, compulsive, indecisive, honest, forgiving, loyal, strong, sympathetic, supportive, creative, authentic, fun loving, ambitious and adventurous.
If you’ve got clutter you’d like to clear out, you will LOVE our 10 minute challenges!
Sign up for my free 3 day decluttering series.
You’ll be amazed at how good it feels to declutter when you do it using my method!
Keep Reading
How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Maybe you’re just naturally a messy, disorganized person who functions better when everything is out in the open. How can you tell when your clutter becomes a hoard?
For the longest time, I was worried I had hoarding tendencies. I would spend hours watching shows likeHoardersandHoarding: Buried Alive. Watching these shows would (temporarily) make me feel better about myself. After all, my clutter was bad; but not that bad. I frantically Googled, “symptoms of hoarding disorders”. And read everything I could find on the subject.
After discovering that at least two of my family members had hoarding tendencies, I began to research whether hoarding was hereditary.
What I discovered shook me to my core. Compulsive hoarding does, in fact, run in families. Actually, there are multiple symptoms associated with hoarding disorders. To my horror, I suffered from more than a few…
Disclosure: I am neither a doctor nor a licensed therapist. Please do not take the information contained here as medical advice. If you (or a family member) are a compulsive hoarder, support is available. I urge you to reach out to your family physician for help. He or she will be able to refer you to a specialist for immediate assistance.
Hoarding definition
According to the Mayo Clinic, hoarding is:
…a persistent difficulty discarding or parting with possessions because of a perceived need to save them. A person with hoarding disorder experiences distress at the thought of getting rid of the items. Excessive accumulation of items, regardless of actual value, occurs.
You Might Be A Hoarder If…
- Compulsive hoarding often manifests during the childhood-teen years and progresses as you age. Quite possibly, you were an avid collector as a child, and your “collections” have grown exponentially over the years. Once a person reaches adulthood, hoarding intensifies. Likely because, as adults, we have (almost) unlimited access to stuff.
- Much of your stuff is useless (aka trash). While you may not think of your belongings as garbage, other’s may have told you that many of the items you possess are beyond repair, useless, or are otherwise qualified for the dumpster.
- You have a difficult time throwing anything away. Usually, you just end up moving things from one place to another.In fact…
- The thought of getting rid of anything sends you into a panic. Your anxiety levels peak whenever someone mentions getting rid of your clutter. You may instantly experience crippling feelings of fear, panic, and anger at the mere thought of getting rid of something.
Compulsive hoarding affects between 6 to 15 million people in the US.
- You are (overly)sentimentally attached to your possessions. A common symptom of hoarding disorder is believing that inanimate objects possess “feelings”. It’s highly possible you worry that if you declutter your possessions, you will end up disappointing them.
- You lack a concrete organizational system. In your home, chaos reigns. Your past (earnest) attempts at organizing the clutter have been unsuccessful.
- You may deny the fact that you have a problem. Even though your friends and loved ones may have been (repeatedly) trying to tell you so.
What’s the difference between hoarding and collecting? Collectors display/maintain their items. They have an organizational system in place. Hoarders lack organization. Their items seem to have “taken over” their home.
- You procrastinate to the point that you become “paralyzed” with inaction. All of us procrastinate to some degree. However, it becomes a concern when your procrastination regularly impairs your judgment.
- You are a perfectionist. Again, a lot of people have perfectionist tendencies.However, your motto is: “If you can’t do something right, don’t do it at all.”
- You own more pets than you can reasonably care for. Some compulsive hoarders hoard animals instead of objects. You may own multiple dogs, cats, horses, etc. More than likely, you lack the accommodations/finances to properly care for your furry friends.
Concerned you might be a hoarder?Help is available.
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- You have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), an addictive personality, or you suffer from anxiety. Until 2013, compulsive hoarding was thought to be a form of OCD. It has since been classified as a separate mental illness. It’s important to note that not everyone who has OCD becomes a hoarder. Likewise, not all hoarders have OCD. Studies have shown, however, that the majority of hoarders suffer from at least one othermental disorder.
- At least one (possibly more) of your family members is a hoarder. While it remains unclear whether DNA plays a role in developing a hoarding disorder, frequently, a hoarder can identify at least one other family member with the illness.
- You are a compulsive shopper. You cannot pass up a bargain even if you have no use for the items you purchase. Perhaps you’ve maxed out your credit cards on clearance items, “limited time only” sales, or thrift store “deals” that were too good to pass up.
Many times, hoarding runs in families. “People with this problem tend to have a first-degree relative who also does,” says Randy O. Frost, Ph.D., a psychologist at Smith College, Northampton, Massachusetts. “So it might be genetic, or it might be a modeling effect.”
- You truly believe you might need everything you own…someday. You fear you’ll run out of an item. As a result, you may excessively stockpile soap, toothpaste, toilet paper, and underwear. Because you know (one day) you will need these items. The problem is, you cannot actually locate your stockpile underneath all of the clutter.
- You feel safer surrounded by stuff. Many people who suffer from compulsive hoarding have built literal walls around themselves. They are comforted being confined by their stuff.
- You do not want other people to touch your stuff. (And you constantly suspect that they have). You’ve even gone so far as to look in the garbage to make sure no one has thrown away your belongings.
- You have distanced yourself from social interaction with your family and friends. You are embarrassed by the condition of your home so you prevent others from entering it.
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“I’m beginning to realize that I’m either overly sentimental, or am a hoarder who struggles to part with things. In all honesty, I’m probably both.”
― Fennel Hudson
- Your “collecting” has had a negative effect on your marriage as well as your finances. In many cases, compulsive hoarding leads to increased divorce rates. In addition, many hoarders have either already filed forbankruptcyor are on the verge of doing so.
- You can no longer use certain areas of your home the way they were intended. If clutter has blocked your access to your bed, shower, refrigerator, or stove, it’s likely you are a compulsive hoarder. Seek immediate medical attention.
- Your home has become a safety hazard. Examples that a home is unsafe include water damage to floors/ceilings, the presence of mold, animal feces, and rodent/insect infestation.If your health and well-being is in jeopardy due to the unsafe conditions of your home, get help now!
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I might be a hoarder but…
Thankfully, I was able to recognize and seek treatment for my hoarding tendencies early on. Unfortunately, many people do not have this luxury. If you or someone you love suffers from compulsive hoarding, it is vital you implement a treatment plan before it’s too late. While compulsive hoarding cannot be “cured” overnight, treatment is available.